Live Now, Feel Alive

Source: here

There are some situations in life we never want to go back to. Lessons that were learned the harder way.

21st October 2018 made me reenact more with my senses in general: hear, touch, smell, sight and taste. As per normal, I woke up early to hit the gym. The weather had turned super warm from the cold (side note: it was breezy and raining the past few days). For some reason, I realized myself sweating profusely at the little things I do. One example would be walking at a moderate speed from my apartment to the train station.

Fast-forward to the main bits, I came out of the gym feeling weak - the kind that strikes my brain. For the first minute of my life, I thought it was just parts and parcel of working out... Squatting on weights after a cardio, it was a legs' day for me.

While I was just 15 meters away from exiting, I started feeling my head throb once more. Even harder this time round. It was at this instance I knew something was not right; both my brain and body were reacting funny. I sat down, untied and tied my hair once more, and fished out for my phone to call my mom. She was on the other line... Waiting for a response from me. My words were all muffled. But I gave the general details on how I was feeling and where I was. She told me she will come over immediately.

I then realized myself losing sight from the world, vision blurred out, eventually leaving me with a bed of whiteness. Kept telling myself to "stay awake, for my parents will be arriving soon" and to "fight harder, to not go to 'sleep'". Amidst the temporary blindness, I heard sounds from the environment. The sirens ringing from ambulances that passed by, people chattering from 100 meters away. Not gonna lie... It dawned upon me that this could be how the last few moments of "life" feels like. This happened to me a few times before. And each time I hated it.

The actions I took, which I'm thankful of by the way, were me:

a) sitting down and supporting myself from toppling down, while this episode happened

b) finding a spot which provides ample shade, though I recalled myself leaning against the bushes *internal laughter and screaming 'thank you nature'* 

c) have this inner consciousness that took care of me like a child 

Regained back my sight after a minute or two. No one knew how eternally grateful to have catch traces of colors, and the outline of my phone on my lap. Instead of thinking such occurrences had scarred me, I should take those to appreciate what's around me more. 

There were quite a number of concerns raised from friends and family alike. Maybe I'll just keep those health advice to some other day. 

Stay well and happy, magic-workers!