Your Misgivings

Back in Secondary school, my Year 4 classmates and I were given a few essay topics to write about.

One of topics that stood out was:  Did you ever have someone whom you respect a lot, that turns out to be a huge disappointment later.

Back then, I did not have firsthand experience with such a person. Hence, I picked a different topic to scribble on.

Now that I completed a portion of my tertiary education, and had started working with people, I would like to focus on the topic mentioned above, circulating around a certain someone. I will not mention his name, nor exact position on this very open web (so fret not).

Here goes nothing...

You are someone whom I held a lot of respect for at first sight. I remembered looking up at you in awe for the ever-so-eloquent words you spoke. There was even a point I wanted you as my mentor for you intellectual views. The way you engaged the class when they were about to fall asleep was rather remarkable. Or so I thought.

Looking back, I felt how mistaken and led I was. I finally saw those layers beneath your own facade. Perhaps the limit then was just a teacher and a student. Supervising me as a higher-up in the corporate world later made me realised how morally questionable you are.

I finally saw the other side of you. How you were using your authority to order people around. How you shove all responsibilities to someone when they messed a work up, and you holding none. You will only take the credits if that someone thrives and pushes your good image forward. All you care about, as someone's supervisor, is how he/she performs to raise the figures. Sure, you admitted that bringing a sum to the company is one of your main objective.

What sour relationships with you is your long-term grudges with your employees. Sure, they do get praised when they perform well. But once they slip up, that's it. You tell, and you swell. Their slip-up will always be imprinted upon you. Stories that came out from your mouth are often too exaggerated and victimized. It made it seem like you are the savior while the other party is a fool.

You played to your tunes, disregarding your own employees' feelings and professionalism. Giving them extra tasks you as a manager, should do. Knowing very well that he/she is taking the hard work for you, slightly pretentious you will initiate to help, but actions wise, never did.

You forget the things your employees inform and update you about. But what's even worse is you made it seem like they were the ones forgetting things you did not even communicate well (to begin with). Sure... You were busy, busy talking and bantering about your staffs and business partners. Sometimes it took you ages to perform a simple task, like calling someone up to clarify on work matters. Only when a dateline is near will you act up, sometimes almost disrupting the workflow of your employees.

I will not discredit the times you were nice, however. Occasionally treating your staffs and allowing to take leave because good health is also a priority. Dismissing them on time when they overtime a day before. But that's that.

Your only weapon is your words. With very little implementation and almost no conscience. Your office presence revolves around something like this)

1) A company calls you
2) You agree to their requests/ there are times you reject too, which is understandable
3) A few moments after you agreed and hung up, you'll say words within the line "*Calls an employee name*, can you please yadda yadda... Thank you."

Additionally, if that person you order fails to deliver his/her things to your expectation (through a mere careless mistake), you will make it seem like it is such a big deal. The questions imposed to you are:

- Do you ever check the work delivered by your employees properly, if you know they too are human and are bound to overlook certain descriptions and numbers.

Especially if the company is short of manpower, and the employee is overwhelmed with a ton of workload. Such carelessness is bound to happen regardless of age and experience. What for put the employee down by reporting her to her school's in-charge. Just because you were once part of an institution, and obliged to flaunt your current status in the industry? But then again, it probably made you feel 'good' about yourself, you get to protect yourself without taking zero blame as a supervisor.

- Have you ever considered how to monitor your emotions.

Many a times, if someone's words threatened your pride, do you just lash it out, or do you actually reflect upon it. This is for you to answer.

Personally, I admire those who have the guards to admit their negligence or mistake, even if they hold a more pristine position in a company.

Overall, to the person whom I respected a lot: You are out there, somewhere. I wish you the best regardless, good health and family around you. You may have somewhat hurt me, and I will not deny the past still comes back to haunt me till these days. But you know what, I guess you were shaped from people who provoked you before too. You taught me what to be and not to be to my juniors in the future.

Latest update: 28/02/2020
Ps. He is no longer working in the respective company as of now :)